11 Utterly Unneccessary Crowdfunding Campaigns

It's never been easier to pitch your awful product ideas.

Thanks to the advent of crowdfunding websites, it’s never been easier for entrepreneurs to find funding to help bring their ideas to fruition. It’s also never been easier to share awful product ideas publicly, or to bamboozle gullible people on the internet into investing in something nobody needs. Here are twelve examples of totally useless crowdfunding campaigns.

Air Umbrella

Ever wished your plain old umbrella weighed a whopping 1 kg, made loud noises, and required a battery that only lasted 30 minutes? In one of the best examples of useless tech, this campaign raised $102,240 USD from 842 backers before the developers seemingly disappeared from the project. They haven’t logged in since Feb 3 2016, and funders are still wondering where their money went.

Ampy

Ampy promises to “power your devices from your motion,” but might serve better as a paperweight. A wearable self-charging battery seems like a useful idea until you realize how ineffective it is. Product testers found that it would take 36 hours of activity to charge the Ampy battery.

Potato Salad

Zack Danger Brown started his Kickstarter campaign with a simple promise to create a potato salad. “Basically I’m just making potato salad,” he described on the page, “I haven’t decided what kind yet.” It also came with the caveat that “it might not be that good.” He somehow managed to raise $55,492, greatly surpassing his modest $10 goal and becoming one of the most successful campaigns in Kickstarter history. Rewards for backing the project included photos of Zack making the salad, a bite of the salad, a potato salad themed haiku, the ability to select an ingredient to be used in the salad. He even published a potato salad recipe book.

The Tock

A $42 “clock” that is permanently set to 420. You’d have to be thoroughly danked to think this is worth contributing to. The project was cancelled after raising $85.00 of its ambitious $7,400 goal.

Solar Roadways

A bizarrely ambitious project that wants to replace our standard asphalt road surfaces with solar panels with LED lights that create lines and signage without paint. Their campaign has raised a staggering $2,279,403 U,S but despite their optimism the concept is riddled with problematic claims and unanswered questions. Scientist Phil Mason aka Thunderf00t posted a very thorough debunking of the developers claims which you can watch here:

PetPhone

There are already loads of unnecessary pet products, but the world’s first personal music player for pets is next-level useless. The product encourages pet owners to “give a gift of music to your pet,” and claims that “music can provide a state of calm for your pets during stressful situations.” Of course you could play music on your stereo, but what if you and your dog have different tastes!? Imagine even getting a dog to wear a pair of in-ear headphones. Shockingly, the campaign failed to reach its $196,000 goal.

Outdoors For Everyone Project

A bold campaign to essentially fund a guy’s vacation visiting parks across America. He promised to use the trips as an opportunity to take photos of the parks which he would then graciously share with “hospitalized, handicapped, elderly, inner-city schoolchildren”. What a hero. Kickstarter suspended the campaign for obvious reasons.

Strap and Crap

This crappy product claims to “help lessen the chance of messin’ your pants when participating in outdoor activities.” You use the straps provided to tie yourself to a tree as you squat down to do your business.

Hidrate Spark Smart Water Bottle

It’s hard to believe that, over millions of years of existence, human beings have somehow managed to accomplish the incredibly difficult but life-sustaining task of drinking water. Thankfully the Hidrate Spark Smart Water Bottle is here to simplify the complicated burden of swallowing H2O. This thing connects to your phone and monitors your water intake, lighting up to remind you when its time to take a sip. Now you don’t have to worry about fainting because you forgot to hydrate! Doesn’t that sound nice?

RoXzai

RoXzai is a cutting edge new game “straight from the stone age.” It’s literally a sack of rocks. This thing actually got funded for $5,145 by 69 backers who apparently weren’t satisfied with the stones and pebbles available in their own backyards.

Who Is Dating My Daughter

Is this even real? I honestly can’t tell if this is a joke or not, but some of these ideas are so stupid that it might as well be real. This developer managed to raise $2 “to develop an App to monitor who my teenage daughter is dating.”