13 Reasons Fall is Awful

Fall is the worst

Fall is the worst season, simple. Here are 14 reasons why fall is just awful.

1. Summer is furthest away from this point right here.

2. Kids are back at school, but that means they’re spreading their nasty, noxious, sticky kid germs and soon there will be a cold going around your office.

3. There aren’t any mosquitoes anymore, but for some reason the most horrifying bug ever conceived, the house centipede, is trying to get into your house.

4. I’m sure there is some logical explanation for ending Daylight Savings Time, but I think anyone who likes to “fall back” is either lying or there is something seriously wrong with them. Why would anyone like it to be dark at 4 p.m.?

5. You don’t have a vacation to look forward to because who takes vacation in November or October?

6. That annoying person bragging that they have their Christmas shopping done already and it’s October 17th. Calm down buddy, the rest of us have actual responsibilities.

7. People get in your personal space on the bus because they don’t realize how big their big stupid jacket is.

8. There’s going to be that one pretentious person in your office who calls it autumn instead of fall. If you are under the age of 50, you are not allowed to use the word autumn.

9. People say the colours are beautiful but in reality, green is much nicer than orange and yellow. Plus, the leaves are yellow for a week tops, and then a big gust of wind comes and the leaves are mostly gone.

10. On October 30th, you’re still not going to have a Halloween costume figured out. This is a load of unwanted stress you don’t need in your life.

11. Of all the useless, frivolous decorations in the world, decorative gourds may be the most trivial. Who decided a small, deformed pumpkin was a decoration?

12. The NHL season starts again and you know the Leafs fans are going to think that the team has a shot for about a month, and then go back to complaining.

13. All my fellow men with high maintenance hairstyles know the frustration of having to ruin your hair every day because you have to put a toque on to leave the house.