What Your Cuddle Position Actually Says About Your Relationship

Spooners beware.

What does your cuddle position say about your relationship? Probably absolutely nothing. It’s all about how your bodies fit together comfortably – everybody should #LoveSleep. This is a favorite topic for relationship bloggers to make up fake facts about online. Here is what your cuddling position actually says about your relationship, shown through tender photographs of Brent and myself.

The Classic Spoon

“Protective & nurturing.”
Classic-Spoon
This really means your relationship is in grave danger! This is the #1 position that causes resentment, and resentment is a sleeping-relationship-ruining-dragon. Every big spoon dreams of being the little spoon, and often times finds it emasculating to admit. Let the dominant person in your relationship feel treasured, wrapped up like a little burrito with extra guacamole; let them be the little spoon tonight.

The leg hug

“Struggling to find a balance.”
Leg-Wrap
Orrrrr it’s the middle of summer, and you live in a cramped Toronto apartment without AC, and you still want to express your deep and meaningful love all night, but don’t want to feel like you’re holding a space heater.

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The Sweetheart Cradle

“Caring and intimate; infatuation.”
Lovers-Embrace
I don’t know if that is true, all I know is that it is by far the most comfortable position for watching TV with your partner, while lying tenderly on a couch.

The sprawl

“One partner is overpowering in the relationship.”
Sprawl
This is a relationship deal breaker for me. What it really says is that one person (the one taking up the entire bed) is selfish and entitled. You’re probably dating the type of person who is rude to the server at a restaurant, and drives to the very end of the closed lane before merging in. Sleep is a happy place, if you can’t share, please leave.

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Back-to-back

“Comfort; mutual respect for own space.”
Backs-Turned
Another common explanation is, you both like sleeping on your sides but not breathing in each other’s face all night. And that is a level of respect everyone should strive for in their relationship.

The Cliff hanger

“Subconsciously trying to get out.”
Cliffhanger
What it really says, is that you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, and sleep time is sleep time. Not every time you lay in the bed has to be a competition to show how amazing your relationship is, and anyone in a real long term relationship knows this. #LoveSleep.

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A photo posted by #LoveSleep (@endysleep) on