You’re an upstanding contributing citizen who refills the Brita water pitcher at home before it’s empty. You call your mom on her birthday, and return your library books in a timely fashion… so why do these totally normal things feel so wrong?
Here are 10 things that feel illegal, but actually aren’t.
1. Leaving a store without buying anything. Sometimes I just buy something cheap to avoid that feeling.
2. To build off that, using a business’s bathroom without buying something. I will avoid eye contact with the gas station cashier every time as I shamefully walk out.
3. AND remember the first time you paid at the pump? As you drove away you thought someone was going to come after you even though you had a receipt.
4. Bringing food into a different restaurant. This can ruin a meal as you sit there, eating your food as quickly as humanly possible like some common criminal waiting to get busted.
5. I love pancakes as much as the next person but something feels weird about pancakes for dinner.
6. Passing a police car going below the speed limit on the highway. I personally think all police cars should have to go 20kms above the speed limit at all times so we don’t have to feel that feeling.
7. Nothing makes me feel more like less of an adult than asking the person at Costco if I can have one of their free samples.
8. Bringing your own food into the Blue Jays game.
Honestly, if you're not making a charcuterie board at a baseball game, what are you even doing with your life? pic.twitter.com/UjpVwDhXD2
— Jake Goldsbie (@JGoldsbie) August 12, 2016
9. Buying your items at the grocery store, remembering you forgot something, and having to carry you’re already bought items through the cash out again.
10. Going through airport security can make you obsess over every bad decision you’ve made in the previous week, and wonder if they can smell it on you, or read your mind.
(Main image courtesy of @JGoldsbie on Twitter)