Having your shit together is hard. We’re thrust into this world without half a clue on how to truly be independent and thrive as an adult. You can watch your parents or those around you as long as you want, but until you move out and really tackle it head on, you have no idea what’s coming.
Because some of you may feel like those around you are doing a lot better, we now have this guide to transform you. Time for some ideas on tricking people into thinking you’re excelling at life.
Have a bowl of produce on your counter filled with fake avocados
All respectable people have a produce bowl on their counter filled with fresh fruit and vegetables. Who has time for that? Here’s a box of 12 fake avocados you can purchase with the click of a button.
Buy a candle
Buy a gym bag and carry it around everywhere
Own a wine glass
Order take out, put it on a plate and Snapchat it to your friends like you made it
The great thing about Snapchat is nobody knows the context of anything. Dispose of any evidence that you went on Uber Eats for your pad thai, throw it on a clean plate and everyone is envious of your culinary skills.
Post stuff on LinkedIn
LinkedIn is the one website that screams modern professional. You can post articles like “5 Ways To Stand Out In A Meeting,” “How Successful People Stay Calm,” “11 Simple Concepts To Becoming A Great Leader” and “Stop Using These 16 Terms To Describe Yourself.” Or maybe go on a bender where you just connect with every single person in your industry until you have 500+ connections. I heard you get mailed a piece of gold if you hit that milestone.
Buy a fake plant
Quit your band
Make your bed before your friends come over
Go to a dealership and get a stranger to take a photo of you in a car, post to Facebook, then leave
If people want to hang out with you, say you have to check a few things and get back to them 24 hours later
Own a pair or five of fun socks
According to a study, if you have cool socks, people around you view you as smart and successful.
Throw out your cargo shorts
Rent a dog
Owning a dog is like owning a baby. It’s a ton of work. If people think you own a dog, you can probably forget about everything else on this list. Here’s a bunch of puppy rental services.
Buy a watch
Watches are the definitive “I have my shit together” accessory.
You can’t fail at adulting if you never try. Listen to Josie Dye, Matt Hart and Carlin Burton on The Josie Dye Show, 6 a.m.-10 a.m. EST, Monday-Friday.