To quote the great ‘Drizzy Drake’: “If you’re reading this, it’s too late.” These are the toys we grew up playing with outside for hours on end, but sadly they no longer exist. Some of them just straight up weren’t safe at all and others pale in comparison to Xbox One and PS4.
Take a trip down memory lane below:
Okay, they still make their new “cool” versions of these but they are no where near what they were back in the day. As you can see pictured above, super soakers used to be absolutely insane and impossible to carry. How a ten year old is supposed to run around with that in their arms is beyond me.
The Pogo Ball
There’s a good chance many up and coming athletes ruined their chances at making it to the bigs because of this thing. I’m not sure if it was designed for fun or the sole purpose of breaking one’s ankles; but regardless, it was a blast back then.
Dragon Flyz/Sky Dancers
Whether you watched the animated series or not, the toys were crazy fun. “Bet you my guy can go higher” you said to your friends right before you pulled the rip cord to watch them fly.
Extremely impractical if you’re looking to get from point A to point B, but man did you ever look radical. It took about three times the leg power for you to peddle this thing but when you were ripping around the block feelin’ the wind in your hair, none of that seemed to matter, did it? Bonus: there was also weirder, cooler, fancier Green Machine.
Slip’n Slide/Wet Banana
Primarily known for ruining a perfectly lush green lawn with water damage for weeks, the slip’n slide was the ideal summer activity. Hook up the hose, grab your homies and start sliding the day away. Pro tip: make sure there are no rocks underneath the slide first.
Skipping for people who didn’t want to use their arms or even count the rotations. Swing it around with your dominant leg, jump over it with the other, and let the toy count the rotations for you.
Did they really add the much to your vert? No, no they didn’t. Were they incredibly dangerous? Yes, yes they were. When you’re a kid you see everything through rose-coloured lenses, “to hell with danger” you thought, as you strapped each boot on before you went for a solid bounce.
So before toys had to go through a rigorous safety inspection, Lawn Darts were crazy sharp. These were REAL darts just disguised in a more fun manner which I’m sure led to multiple injuries. They still sell Lawn Darts but they are no where near what they used to be. RIP sharp pointy ends.
If you had one of these you were the envy of your hood. These extremely expensive kid cars were the closest a child could get to driving an actual vehicle. They weren’t great at going up hills or any incline for that matter, but WHO CARES, YOU’RE DRIVING.