A Guide to Lying

Sometimes the Truth is a Bad Idea


BrianThe Morning After with Brian, Matt & Candice (Weekdays 6am-10am)

Brian grew up in London, ON and hosted a morning show in Victoria, BC before coming to Indie88. He loves biking and backcountry camping but usually spends his weekends catching live music and seeking out cheese shops in the city. He’s the singer/guitarist in the widely-unheard-of indie rock band Ocean Noise and looks forward to being part of the Toronto music scene.

They say the truth hurts, which is why you should always lie. Especially to your friends. And your family. And your boss. And your partner. Use the following guide when navigating those times when you should definitely tell a lie.

Listeners weighed in on when you should lie on The Morning After with Brian, Matt & Candice.
Listen Now


A large semi-public gathering isn’t the right time or place to air out grievances. Instead of telling the story about how the groom got drunk and started hitting on the entire bridal party, just LIE. It’s too late for the bride, you might as well pretend he’s a good guy and they’ll live happily ever after. Same goes for funerals – saying your aunt was a lush or your uncle was a cheapskate doesn’t make for a great eulogy.

Guests toasting with champagne at wedding reception

(Photo via Getty Images)



If your partner asks the dreaded question “Have I gained weight?” just back out of the room slowly, then turn and run. Of course you have to LIE. It’s not like they don’t have a mirror, a scale, and a hundred pictures already telling them the truth. Same goes for a new haircut, new clothes or a new tattoo. What they’re looking for is a little reassurance that you still find them attractive and stick with them through thick and thin. Literally.

Mature woman looking at herself in a mirror

(Photo by Huffington Post)



Anyone who’s ever played in a band knows you should never listen to your friend’s opinions because they’re dirty filthy liars. When someone asks what you think of their new song or new album, steer clear of insults by saying something like “the production sounds really good” or “your songwriting has come a long way.”


(Photo by W C via Flickr)



It’s not lying, it’s “augmenting” your skills and experience to get a foot in the door. A quick trip to the library and a stack of _______ For Dummies books should get you caught up on whatever you need to know.

Lying businessman long nose

(Photo via Morgan McKinley)



Sometimes children ask difficult questions and they’re just not ready for the answers. They only have a short amount of time to be kids and the rest of their lives to be old, so it’s understandable if you want to protect them from the horrors of the world. Oh, and lock the bedroom door.


(Photo by Monika Adamczyk via Dreamstime)



No one wants the truth when it comes to their performance in the bedroom, especially if it’s too late to remedy the situation. And if they ask you about your previous experience? LIE. They definitely don’t want to hear how your ex did this or that – just pretend every time is the “best you’ve ever had.”


(Photo by 4774344sean via Restock)



Just kidding. You’ll probably go to jail.
Screen Shot 2015-06-29 at 4.01.59 PM

(Photo by Demosphere via Flickr)