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Indiana Jones Movies: 1-Star Reviews

Before you watch Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, you’re probably re-watching the classics. The Indiana Jones films are filled with thrilling action sequences, adventure, humor, and the supernatural. The franchise is one of the most successful film franchises in history, but not everyone loved the films.  Here are our favourite 1-star reviews from the franchise.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)

Raiders of the Lost Ark follows Indiana Jones, an archaeologist and adventurer in his quest to find the legendary Ark of the Covenant before it falls into the hands of the Nazis.

With 8369 reviews on Amazon, the film has an impressive 4.8 out of 5 stars rating: 86% of them were 5 stars, but this guy thought the movie was just too exciting:

It’s like a bombardment of zesty images: “Too much action, no time to rest; too many special effects, over-produced. It’s like a bombardment of zesty images, one after another after another” 

THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984)

In the second Indiana Jones movie, Indy set out on a perilous journey to save enslaved children. He encounters booby traps, survives a mine cart chase, and eats monkey brains. The movie was fairly criticized for it’s atrocious portrayal of Indian culture.

Overall, the movie has 4536 ratings on Amazon, 83% of them were 5-stars, but this person didn’t hold back in their 1-star review:

Indiana Jones Disaster

Worst Indiana Jones ever.
Storyline: Terrible
Character Development: Awful
Side Characters: Annoying and Horrific
Special Effects: B-Movie Status
Editing: Lousy

THE LAST CRUSADE  (1989)

Indiana Jones’ father, Professor Henry Jones Sr (played by Sean Connery) has gone missing while hunting for the Holy Grail.  The cup is said to have mystical powers and the ability to grant eternal life. Indy has to find his father and recover the Grail before, you guessed it, the Nazis find it!

With 3,792 ratings, 91% of which were positive.  Like in movies past, this movie is fast paced and filled with action and adventure.  It’s opening sequence shows a young Indiana Jones as a Boy Scout in an exciting chase on horseback, dangling off the top of a moving train, and narrowly being bitten by a deadly snake. It’s hard to think that anyone wouldn’t be kept on the edge of their seat, but alas, this poor fella didn’t find it exciting enough: fell asleep I started to fall asleep watching it only twenty minutes in…”

THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008)

After a nearly 20 year hiatus, Indiana Jones returned in the WORST movie in the Indiana Jones franchise. Indy becomes entangled in a quest involving ancient artifacts and encounters a mysterious alien-related storyline. Despite being the weakest movie in the series, it still found fans. Of the 2773 ratings on Amazon, 80% were positive, but plenty were not:

Indy Uncovers a Pile of Manure “There is nothing redeeming or worthwhile in the film. It is worse than Congo. It is worse than Battlefield Earth. Well, ok. It’s not THAT bad but it’s pretty bad.”

grandpa Jones and what not “Jones saves himself from a nuclear blast in the heart of US using a old refrigerator (wish we could have told this to the people of Hiroshima) and comes out almost scratchless and goes for this relentless search for some skull which is stored in some dark cave with amazingly fake spider-webs.”

drivelicious! “Perhaps trapping yourself in an elevator and having 10-ton bags of brown sugar slowly poured into the car would be a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I cannot attest to your level of dissatisfaction with this odd brand of cinematic midlife crisis. For me, Rambo gramps is not … I’m getting that weird feeling like when the squirrel is staring at my nuts.”

Indy is back in his final adventure Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny, out in theatres now.

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