There’s no question CHVRCHES frontwoman Lauren Mayberry has been increasingly vocal against misogyny in the recent past.
She’s spoken out against sexist comments online and on TV over the “Leave a Trace” video and at her live concerts, but today she penned a more personal side of the story. Writing for Lena Dunham’s ‘Lenny’ newsletter, Mayberry shared the story of an abusive relationship she had in the past with an ex-boyfriend. No doubt her shared story aims to inpire a “cultural shift” towards women that she’s talked about in the past.
Take a look at a snippet of the story below, the rest of which will be coming out shortly here.
We were arguing, again. Like most times it happened, I wasn’t quite sure why he was so upset. I had tried to placate him; I had tried to reason; I had tried to apologize, but nothing seemed to be having any impact other than making the situation worse. Then he backed me against a wall and slammed his hand repeatedly on the surface above my head. When I broke down in shock, he said, “Oh, don’t act like I hit you.” That moment was the final wake-up call I shouldn’t have needed.
Things like this had happened before but to a lesser extent. He would pull me by my arms and wrists when he was frustrated and thought I wasn’t listening (and then say he was sorry). He would slam doors on me (and then apologize). He once grabbed at the steering wheel of my car when I was driving so we could pull over to “talk,” then shouted and beat his fists repeatedly on the dashboard when I didn’t stop the vehicle.
At the time, it felt like things changed slowly, like I woke up one day in a relationship and a reality that I did not recognize, but I’m sure the signs were there the whole time. When we met, he seemed charming. He was smart, passionate, creative, and caring. But after the first few months, he became increasingly paranoid, insecure, jealous, and depressed. Everything became my fault. I was careless. I was stupid. I was selfish. I was not trustworthy. I was a weak person who would fail at anything she tried so I shouldn’t bother. He hated me, but then he loved me and I was the best person in the world — until I wasn’t anymore.
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