** A couple of these were straight up stolen from people who called in to my radio show or commented on Facebook so I thank you! -Carlin
That guy sitting there sniffling who refuses to just go get a Kleenex – The worst part is you’re going to look like the rude one if you offer him a Kleenex.
People who lock their car with the key fob…5 times – if your car horn beeps after you lock it with the fob, it is locked, that is literally what it is there for, why do you have to do it 5 times before you’re satisfied?
Whatever song you have set as your alarm – Ohhh you set your favorite song as your alarm in the morning? Rookie move. You will despise that song in about one week’s time.
The loud chewer – if you chew your food with your mouth open, your parents have failed at raising you into a normal contributing member of society.
The clipping of nails in public – I dream of one day having so few inhibitions I can clip my nails in public, but in the mean time, I will be considerate of the people around me.
The reminder beep feature on your microwave – why does the microwave have to beep every minute I leave my food in there after I’m done warming it up. I have never forgotten to feed myself, how would I possibly forget my food is in the microwave?
The sound a cutlery scraping a plate – ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
The pen clicker – I’m going to request you either sit on your hands or get a pen with a cap on it.
When the toilet seat accidentally slams – I’m not some sort of magic wizard but I’m pretty sure washrooms magically amplify every sound x10. If you have the right toilet seat, this can sound like a gun shot.
Styrofoam rubbing together – it’s 2015, we have wi-fi and self cleaning ovens, can we figure out an alternative to styrofoam already?
That 14 year old girl having a way too loud cell phone conversation about nothing on the TTC – I’ve had a long day of work, Please. Stop. Talking.