So apparently Grimes works out by sword fighting, screaming, and undergoing experimental eye surgery

Just a casual workout routine

In a completely normal turn of events, Grimes has revealed that she works out by sword fighting, screaming, and undergoing experimental eye surgery. After being announced as the face of Stella McCartney x Adidas’ sustainability-inspired Fall/Winter 2019 collection, Grimes used the opportunity to reveal her bizarre work-out routine.

Grimes prides herself on taking a self-proclaimed “360 approach to fitness,” and she regularly spends “2-4 hours in my deprivation tank,” so that she can “‘astro-glide’ to other dimensions – past, present, and future.” Then, Grimes allegedly spends hours sword fighting until she caps it off with an inclined hike. According to Grimes, this gets her ready to go into the studio, where she drinks honey tea and spends 20-25 minutes screaming to get herself hyped up to work on her highly anticipated new album.

In a quintessential Grimes fashion, she wrapped up her post to explain how she eliminated blue light from her vision through eye surgery to eliminate seasonal affective disorder. “I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression,” Grimes explains.

Check out the announcement and in-depth workout routine below.
 

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ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regiment ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor

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Is Grimes the final boss of Tumblr? Probably.
 
Lead photo courtesy of Eli Russell Linnetz.