Stormy Daniels’ Tell-All Book Will Ruin ‘Mario Kart’ For Everyone

Adult film star says that Donald Trump's penis looks like Toad

A leaked excerpt from porn star Stormy Daniels’ tell-all book, Full Disclosure, serves up some details about President Donald Trump that you’re never going to be able to un-read. The Guardian published an excerpt from the book, which details Daniels’ alleged affair with Trump.

According to Daniels, Trump’s penis resembles a seemingly wholesome Super Mario character. If you ever want to enjoy Mario Kart again in your life, you may want to close your browser at this time.

Daniels described Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart… It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

So there you have it. If you were curious about the president’s junk… well, congratulations on receiving this information.