The Reasons Why I Hate Brunch

Just 4 of the reasons why brunch is the worst

I’ve worked as both a server and a bartender at very busy brunch spots and I can tell you from experience that it’s the shift I dreaded all week. Impatient customers, screaming children and egg residue everywhere. At the end of the day I was battered, bruised, reeking of butter and always ended up drinking heavily. There are so many reasons to loathe this locust-like feeding frenzy and here are a few choice ones:

LINE-UPS

lineups

(Photo by jasonlevis via Flickr)

Why, oh why do people line up for 90 minutes for eggs? You could have made them at home and be sleeping off mimosas in that time frame. It’s Sunday morning; a time for rest and hangovers so get out of that line and go loaf on your couch.

SERVICE

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(Photo by Wilson Hui via Flickr)

This isn’t the kitchen or the server’s fault. They are always stretched very thin and are barely keeping it together. Remember this when you get all uppity and ask to “speak to a manager”. Unless they’ve made a big mistake, give them the benefit of the doubt and be nice. Being a dick rarely gets you what you want while being understanding goes a long way so take it easy.

EGGS

eggsbenny

(Photo by mila0506 via Flickr)

I’m probably alone on this one but I hate eggs and that makes it hard to like brunch. They only egg-less option is usually some wack peameal sandwich that they slap together with the remnants of Saturday night’s dinner special. Hollandaise is unnatural and should be sent back to the bowels of hell where it belongs.

ENTITLEMENT

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(Photo by Clarence Risher via Flickr)

I don’t know why this meal brings out the worst in people but holy shit, you’d swear people were eating at El Bulli, Noma or The French Laundry and not a joint where you pay $9.95 for french toast! Listen, you know it’s going to be busy, you know it’s probably not the best time to experience a restaurant so temper your expectations. Everyone will be happier.

(Main Photo by Roger Wollstadt via Flickr)