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Top 5 Face-Carpets in Music

This frozen hell-scape we call winter has made me very grateful for my beard. There’s something comforting about a beard and I don’t know that I’ll ever shave mine. As the great Bruce McCulloch of the Kids in The Hall once said “as you’re ageing, it’s the perfect way to cover up your puffy, compromising face”.

Bonus: put these songs together for the weirdest playlist in history!

5. Sam Beam from Iron and Wine

This thing is a beast. It’s so old-timey and colonial that you just wanna curl up for a nap in this bad boy. I bet it smells like barley.

Essential Song:


4. Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys

I’m a huge Beach Boys fan and I think they made their best music when Brian went a little bit off of the deep end. Honourable Mention to brothers Dennis and Carl, they both had some dirty beards in the 70’s too.

Essential Song:


3. Freeway

Beards in Hip Hop aren’t super common so it’s nice to see Philly Freeway rock his brillo pad proudly.

Essential Song:


2. Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees

This beard is a little “Supercuts Poster” for me, but I’m a closet Bee Gees fan and they had to make the list. They were once a very decent band….pre-disco, of course!

Essential Song:


1. ZZ Top

These OGs of face-pelts had to make the list. No one has done it better and I doubt that anyone ever will. The kings of beardliness without contention.

Essential Song:

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